Stacey Campfield--The Dungeon

Ahh...Stacey Campfield. Native New Yorker, current resident of and state Senator representing Tennessee. You know, Tennessee--part of the Bible Belt, so called because those are the two most common items used to abuse children in the region. Tennessee, home of snake handling, the KKK and the Scopes Monkey Trial. (Not to mention the infamous elephant hanging.)

Carrying the mantle of such a proud state history, Campfield is determined live up to Tennessee's high standards. When he's not dressing up in a luchador mask and wandering around college football games, talking to himself, he likes to sponsor state bills.

From trying to require that aborted fetuses be issued death certificates to Tennessee's much-mocked "Don't Say Gay" bill, he certainly has a way with proposed legislation. He also tried to join Tennessee's legislative Black caucus. By the way, this is a picture of Stacey Campfield: 

Here are just a couple of quotes from Senator Campfield:

"Most people realize that AIDS came from the homosexual community -- it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men. It was an airline pilot, if I recall." 

(It didn't and it wasn't.)

 "My understanding is that it is virtually -- not completely, but virtually -- impossible to contract AIDS through heterosexual sex...very rarely [transmitted]."

(It's not.)

So what finally gets a winner like this banished to the virtual Dungeon? This gem of proposed legislation: Get good grades or your family goes hungry.

Yes, Senator Stacey Campfield actually proposed legislation in Tennessee that reduced welfare benefits by 30% to any family that had a child not meeting academic standards. You know, because nothing motivates a child to study harder than starving.

Honestly, it's only his pathetic ineffectualness that keeps him out of the Torture Chamber. See, Campfield eventually dropped the bill, noting it was only a temporary drop and that he would reintroduce it next year--because there are few things a single, 46-year old, never-married, good Catholic boy knows better than masturbatory exercises. Of course, the decision to drop it came after an 8-year old girl followed him around the state Capitol, waving a petition while being cheered on by, no shit, a choir of about 60 people singing "Jesus Loves the Little Children."

Withdrawn or not, only a heartless piece of shit tries to take food and security away from entire families already in dire straits because kids don't perform to certain academic standards. Perhaps if we focused more on making our kids well-rounded people and less on meaningless standardized test scores we wouldn't have idiots like Campfield in our state legislatures. 

In the meantime, Stacey Campfield is free to continue posting post-Boston bombing jokes about "assault pressure cookers" with "tactical pistol grip" until his next proposed legislation--probably involving arming heterosexual fetuses--rears its ignorant head.