Stabby Saturday

It's Saturday and capping off the week we have a run-down of some things that made me stabby recently.

Starting off, we have the Iowa Supreme Court. This all-male group of morons decided--for the second time--this week that it is perfectly legal to fire an employee you may be thinking of having an affair with. The court explains that it isn't gender discrimination--either gender could be fired for being too appealing to the boss. So if you live in Iowa, make sure you are just awesome enough that your boss will want to give you raises and promote you but not quite awesome enough that he/she might want a relationship with you--because it will be ALL YOUR FAULT if you do.

Second, we have the Texas legislature--where guns don't kill people but tampons can apparently really fuck your shit up. The Texas legislature was set to push through their anti-women abortion bill which would shut down all but a handful of abortion clinics in Texas. However, before getting underway with their latest special session, they had to make sure their armed guards were doing their due diligence and making sure nothing that could threaten or harm the politicians could make it into the chamber. Like semi-automatic weapons which could be used to shoot the misogynistic pieces of shit passing this law? Nope, those you can keep. Feminine hygiene products? Oh hell no. That's right. Take the gun, leave the Kotex.

Interesting footnote to the Texas abortion bill, it requires all clinics performing abortions in the state to be licensed ambulatory surgery centers--despite zero evidence that existing centers are deficient in any way. While effectively closing all the clinics that currently perform abortions due to the financial hardship of changing their entire business and health models, it does open up the opportunity for existing ambulatory surgery centers in Texas to jump into the abortion-providing game. Well, that's good news, right? (Not for women seeking abortions, of course. This just means that now the cost will go up dramatically.) Right! It's great news for people with a stake in ambulatory surgery centers in Texas--for example, a group like United Surgical Partners International, who run quite a few such centers. Why, this legislation which drives desperate women to ambulatory surgery centers for abortions could really financially benefit such businesses and their employees. Such as the vice-president of government affairs for the aforementioned USPI--Milla Perry Jones. Perry...Perry...where do we know that name? Oh yeah, she's the sister of Texas Governor Rick Perry--he who has called two special sessions to get this bill pushed through despite massive protests from voting taxpayers in the state. (By the way, Milla Perry Jones is also on the board of the Texas Ambulatory Surgical Center Society.)

On a much lighter note, there's a commercial on TV right now that's making me stabby. Maybe you've seen it, it's the Swiffer ad with the elderly couple, married for 44 years. In one of the commercials, they explain that Morty does the laundry and Lee does the cleaning. Problem is, apparently in order to do the dusting, elderly Lee is having to climb on chairs and stepladders to reach what she needs to Swiffer. Morty stands by, presumably to cushion her fall when she topples off the dining room chair, letting her know that her acrobatics do not look safe. The solution arrives when apparently someone gifts them a box of extended Swiffer tools. The part that's making me stabby is that Morty's got at least a foot of height on Lee--why the hell is HE not Swiffering rather than watching his wife of 44 years clean the living room Nik Wallenda-style? Instead of acting as spotter for your wife, Morty, maybe you could take a turn with the duster, eh? The whole commercial bugs me.

That's enough stabby for now. Don't worry, with states like North Carolina, evil idiots like Charles Koch and pieces of shit on power trips, I'm sure we'll be back next week.